THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

I was recently asked,” Which was your ‘Most favourite Christmas celebration’ ever?”

Christmas has always been a time of mixed emotions for me, so I found myself soul searching to answer this obviously important question. It was then that I remembered my first year in high school.

That year, 1972, is carved into the pillars of my memory. It was my first year at boarding school – a baptism of fire - at the delicate age of 12 years. For the first time in my young life I suffered extreme bouts of homesickness. Time passed by at a snail’s pace and by mid-year I was ready for my Christmas holidays. I pined heavily for my family, family life and the comeradie of togetherness. I had no idea how I was going to get through the following six months before the Christmas break.

Thankfully I got an idea. I thought that if I could make all my Christmas gifts that year, it would serve to pass the time and keep my thoughts happy. I decided to start my Christmas celebration in July that year. Thankfully I was blessed with dexterity: I was a good knitter, an aspiring embroiderer and creative baker.

In the following six months, I completed three adult size men’s jerseys: for my father and two brothers, as well as a beautifully embroidered table cloth for my mother. I spent every spare moment working on my gifts. The love and subtle messages which were worked into each stitch of those jerseys can never be equalled. No flower arrangement will ever match the delicate petals of pretty cottons, which were stitched into the posies of my mother’s gift. The whole exercise was a true labour of love!

Those endless lonely hours were converted into little acts of thoughtfulness. I can say now, with absolute certainty, that Christmas 1972 was my longest and most favourite Christmas ever! My own sense of achievement in terms of thoughtful Christmas gifts showed no bounds. It was an absolute blessing to finally watch each recipient open his/her carefully wrapped package and to discover the extent of my love.

Perhaps this is the answer to the current Spirit of Christmas. It is the thoughtfulness behind our gifts as well as the echoed understanding in our loved one’s expressions. It is about reaching out to touch another person’s heart and, in turn, to receive that other person’s gift of emotion. People always say that Christmas is about togetherness, but it really is about saying to another person: “You are important in my life and I am a richer person knowing you!” Christmas offers us the precious opportunity to convey all these feelings.

So, when you look at your gifts this year, see them as filled with emotion. On the inside of each package is love...waiting to be shared!

A CHRISTMAS WISH

I would like to take the opportunity of wishing all my readers an awesome festive season...

May you be filled with Goodwill, Generosity, Hospitality, Caring, Peace and a Deep Appreciation for Life.

With love, Caryl

What is your perspective?

If you are only seeing the ugliness, perhaps you are not looking for the beauty....

MORE GINGER BREAD HOUSES

Yep...I've been baking again and thought I'd give you a glimpse of what I've been up to. This is my latest feat. I'm hoping to give it to some good cause. If you want to see more detail, click on the images.

MY CHILDHOOD FARM

This is a picture of the farm "Turbine Waters" where I grew up. It holds amazing memories: happy, carefree days with no worries in the world.

One can't see the old farmhouse in this picture- it's embedded in trees alongside the steep rock face in the middle of the picture. The homestead was presumably built in the early 20th century and sported thick walls ,arches and an inviting fireplace. The cement floors throughout the house were polished up to a shiny red and cool underfoot. Occasionally my father would move aside the tin sheeting on the roof to allow hot air to escape. This was my home were I spent my childhood.

To the right (out of the picture) was a waterfall which was either in flood or totally dry. It was my personal sanctuary where I spent many hours meditating.

In my early childhood the land, which you see, was cultivated - the crops kept alive by the waterfall. Later the dept. of forestry planted bluegum (Saligna) trees in the catchment area on top of the mountain. The action was disasterous as my dad had to give up farming and seek employment elsewhere.

The mountain was a particular climbing challenge. The bush was lush and pathways obscure. It would take us hours to reach the summit, but the view over the valley was magnificent. We'd stand on the summit, open our arms and revel in the cool valley breeze.

In the middle of the picture is an old "Shed" which served as a milking facility for the numerous cows which were resident on the farm. Adjacent to the shed was a pump which tapped into one of two active boreholes on the farm. The water supply however was small, so we had to be frugal with our usage.

Bird life on the farm was amazing since it was close to the Kruger Park. Indeed there are more species of bird in the Kruger Park than the whole of Australia. I took a keen interest in the activities of my multitude of feathered friends.

So, this is just a snippet of my childhood playground. I will refrain from going on at length. Perhaps one day you can read all my stories in my anthology:

"A SILVER SPOON FOR AN AFRICAN WHITE CHILD".

CLOUDS OVER JOHANNESBURG

Johannesburg has the most incredible thunderstorms and seems to be the lightning capital of the world!

This is the cloud formation which presented itself over our city last evening. Wow!

THE WEED

WEED: Defn: "a useless or troublesome plant"

A while ago a strange looking plant arrived in my garden. Its seed had obviously wandered into our property and then germinated in our inviting soil. I wasn't sure what it was, so I decided to let it grow a little. It quickly sprouted more stems and leaves and I was told that it was a "weed" and that it should be eradicated.

I was a little reluctant to get rid of it, so I pruned it heavily into the ground to give myself time to decide its fate. By the time winter came it was taking over my flower bed again, so it got another severe trimming. When summer arrived, I asked my gardener to dig it up. He did and threw the stump aside. Again my conscience got the better of me; I felt sorry for the plant (:)) and compromised by "burying" it in a section of my backyard where it wouldn't bother anyone (if by chance it decided to grow again).

Well, true to form, its green leaves were soon sprouting from the ground. This "Weed" now has the most beautiful blooms - so fragrant in the evening - which send wafts of euphoric auromas into my bedroom. It is frequently visited by bees and has finally been granted the freedom to show its true colours.

How often do we simply discount things, people and happenings in our lives? How often do we hear of the "weeds" who were at school with us, rising to amazing heights for the sake of humanity? Do we perhaps stop to think of their potential and possibilities? After all, a "Weed" is a social label! Everything has a purpose and it has ironically become man's responsibility to decide the value of that purpose. Often we don't give enough credit to this mission and flippantly discount people, animals and plants.

I want to encourage you to think about your actions, to think about the labels which you attach to people and to double-check your stereotyping and prejudice. Often, it is the so-called 'useless' people and things which surprise us most - those "WEEDS" in our lives.

THE EVOLUTION OF AUTHORITY

This is a note which I discovered in my late father-in-law's bible. The day I came across it, I was besides myself with laughter. It was so like him - a quiet, uninvasive sense of humour. In that moment, he seemed to have been brought back to life.

GINGER BREAD HOUSES

It's that time of the year again...Christmas!!

The orders for our famous Ginger Bread Houses are starting to trickle in and our home is being infused with all sorts of enticing smells from my kitchen. I've been wondering what it is that makes these houses so appealing...? Perhaps it's the conjured up ideas Hansel and Gretle and their house full of sweeties...?Maybe its just the transporting of ourselves back to our childhood and the sense of freedom and abandon that went along with it...? Either way, I'm pleased with the orders, but still puzzled about what the attraction is.



It's not only the giving of these houses that provides pleasure, but the making of them too. Somehow the sight of all the ingredients laid out and the surrounding aromas entice members of my family to join me in this mission. "Ginger Bread Houses Time!!" they say and then happily join me with the task of applying all the sweets. I must say that my stock of sweets gets depleted in the process as the temptation of popping one into the mouth gets the better of my helpers. But Fun prevails and I'm not complaining.


So, tell me .....what's the attraction?

YELLOW SPIDER

I am so fond of these industrious little yellow spiders. They set up shop in a complementary flower and wait for food to be delivered. Take a look - the spider is smaller than the bee - Amazing!

A CATERPILLAR'S FEAST

I was at a Lorraine's house today and

LOOK AT THE SPECTACLE WE FOUND IN HER GARDEN!!!

This caterpillar (and many such others) has taken residence in her plants. If you look carefully, you can see that the caterpillar is literally ON THE INSIDE OF THE LEAF FROND - eating its way along the main vein to the end of the leaf. Only a thin plant membrane seperates it from the outside world. I suppose it will finally become a pupa in the safe confines of the plant vein and then later emerge as yet another butterfly. Her poor plants are infested with these stunning creatures! We think that certain butterflies must lay their eggs on these plants and the caterpillars later hatch on the inside of the plant. Talk about being eaten from the inside, out!

Does anyone know what they are???

Please accept my sympathies Lorraine -for the loss of yet another season of beautiful blooms.

Remember that all creatures have to eat!

FILIGREE

One of my favourite words is “FILIGREE”, defined in the World book encyclopedia as:
” A lacy, delicate or fanciful pattern in any material, ...ornamental work.”

Sometimes when I see something exquisite, yet impractical, I immediately think of “FILIGREE”. Generally this word is used in conjunction with lacy, delicate or fanciful patterns and ornamental work, but my first exposure to it was as an analogy for the little trills and turns in piano playing. In that context it was associated with accents or flamboyant playing to make the melody stand out.

Since then I have associated FILIGREE with unusual things, such as:

- The sprinkles of light and clouds in a beautiful sunset
- Pretty coloured rose petals
- Intricately decorated cakes
- Classical music pieces which precise and playful finger work

All these associations have reminded me of the creativity and imagination surrounding the design of the universe and our world. For me it’s as if the Creator has used FILIGREE to make our world stand out and to enhance our existence.

Then, of course, there is filigree in aspects of writing, where authors use beautiful words to elaborate on their descriptions.

I know that many of my associations with this word aren’t necessarily correct on a literary level, but I love playing around with it anyway, in unorthodox ways.

Life would be so boring without FILIGREE. Imagine if we didn’t decorate our homes or ourselves. Imagine if everything was standard with no frills or if there was no creativity in our designs. FILIGREE in our lives adds to our identity. People’s mannerisms and idiosyncrasies are what makes them stand out, what gives them dimension and makes them interesting and special.

So what is it that makes you stand out? What FILIGREE do you put in your life? Have a look at yourself in the mirror and see what makes you unique. Examine the FILIGREE in your psyche; is it really necessary or is it something, by choice, which sets you apart?

Have a wonderful, FILIGREE- filled day!

AN EVENING BLESSING

Since I'm in a somewhat melancholy mood, I thought I'd share a poem with you. Its about friendship and as you obviously can gather, my friends mean the world to me.

AN EVENING BLESSING

As shadow settles the evening light
A blessing I pray, for you this night…

“Peace be with you; may sleep be a sigh
And angel near you; a watchful eye

For tomorrow as the sun will rise
Your spirit shall rise and paint your skies

With beautiful colours of truth and love
Paints specially provided by God above.

A new day, a new leaf
A kindred spirit, however brief,

To touch your heart with love this day
Temper your path and light your way.

Rest well, dear soul, your day is done!
Forget the world; your race is won

Take care, my friend and sleep thee well
As I sleep my sleep in fond farewell.”

Caryl Moll 2005

"IN THE COMPANY OF WORDS"

I thought I'd take a moment to share, with you, why I started this blog.

I am in the midst of trying to put a book together of short stories related to my early life where I grew up on a farm. These are personal, autobiographical stories which are intended as a legacy for my children. These stories will not appear on this blog, but ideas around them most certainly will. I have never been a great literary artist, but I love writing and I love books. I know that if I am going to succeed in my farm stories (under the banner of "A SILVER SPOON FOR AN AFRICAN WHITE CHILD"), then I am going to have to improve my writing. This blog is my "practice" place; the place where I can toy with self expression and various ideas.

My real introduction into language and all its possibilities arrived two years ago when I enrolled for an English course in creative writing. Not only did the course challenge me to start putting my own thoughts on paper, but it introduced me to some incredible African authors. All my life I had been under the mistaken impression that substantial authors have always emerged from the western world. I am embarrassed at my own naivete, since this is totally untrue. There are many truly amazing authors who hail from this continent and who are of the same calibre as the classic greats.

Some of the authors which impress me immensely are Zakes Mda, Gcina Mhlophe, Wilf Nussey and Kobie Kruger. I am inspired by Ms Gcina Mhophe and had the wonderful privelege, some time ago, to watch her perform her personal poem: "In the company of words". Her perfomance and poem spoke to me like no other. The poem describes her own love of language and its infinite possibilities and this echoes my own. Those of you who know all these authors will also know that their genres differ immensely. Nevertheless, they are the authors who are busy shaping me in my own style. I acknowledge them all and thank them for their inspiration. I am truly in awe of them. What I like most about them is their honesty in their writing. They don't beat about the bush, but say what they mean and use an amazing command of language.

So, back to this blog? My intention here is to practice my writing, within the confines of 'positivity'. This is not an easy task. We all have bad days and there are times when we just don't feel like being positive. But this goal challenges me at a deep, personal level and I truly believe that there is a channel to direct one's negative thoughts into an area of growth, enrichment and ultimate positivity.

In summary, this blog is my own personal challenge: The goal of creating something beautiful on a literary level, something inspiring to my readers and a forum where I can get feedback.

I really would like to encourage my readers to walk this path with me. I would LOVE your feedback - feel free to comment and put your own thoughts down and take time with me on this journey. Thank you, in anticipation, Caryl

UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE

"Relationships are based on overlapping perspectives"

Caryl Moll 14.11.2008

The most profound thing that I bring into this world is my PERSPECTIVE. This is what identifies me as Unique and is the blueprint of my existence on this planet."

Caryl Moll 14.11.2008

One of my most profound moments occurred when I was a small child - about 8/9 years old. I was sitting on the rim of our farm reservoir with my feet enjoying its cool water. I was in a childishly pensive mood. Pond skimmers were sharing the water with me, and were making various patterns on the surface of the water. Pretty clouds also reflect their images off the surface of the water. I thought about life in general, the role of humanity, the lives of the pond skimmers and compared all of these to my own life.

I concluded that pond skimmers were not unlike us humans: There were so many of them - darting backwards and forwards, creating their own paths and going about their individual ways. Despite this, they were part of a collective - a community who shared similar traits and who all occupied the same planet.

The importance of this moment, I realised, was that it was only me who was watching them, that it was only me who was thinking about them and this was, in turn, creating my own perspective. This moment might seem trivial to some, but for me it was a defining one; a unique and highly personal snippet in my life and of unique importance - only to me.

We all have similar such moments which seem to add to our unique identities. They all add up to what I call UNIQUE, INDIVIDUALISED PERSPECTIVE. This is the essence of who we are as individuals.

I encourage you to embrace and value your own, unique perspective. This is what will allow you to make a difference in this world! ... and when, by chance, you are given the gift of sharing part of your perspective with another soul, cherish it to the extreme!

Enjoy this beautiful day!

THE CHRISTMAS CAKE TEST

Christmas is fast approaching and the season holds a variety of emotions for many people. Many embark on great celebration and festivity. Ironically, it is often the season associated with high suicide rates and deep depression. Whilst families gather and celebrate their togetherness, others are isolated and lonely. Whilst some thrive in the fruits of their labour, others search for food and friendship. It sometimes happens too that amidst joviality and happiness too, people become melanchony and reflectve. Perhaps none of us are immune to the emotive turbulence of the season.

In my own childhood household, the emphasis at Christmastime was on family and togetherness. We lived on a farm and the task of baking a Christmas cake took days. My dad had constructed a specially designed box which was then carefully lined by my mom with layers of brown paper and tin foil. Ingredients for the cake were ordered from our local supplier and spices were carefully gathered for the event. When it came to the mixing and baking of the cake, we all congregated in the old farm kitchen and took part in the occasion. Some of us were responsible for the wood fire, others for the cake tin's lining, some for the mixing and some to ensure the correct ingredients were put in. It was an enriching family affair, permeated with comforting aromas of cloves, nutmeg and cinnamon.

When I got married, I carried the tradition into my new household. At first it was only the two of us. This meant really hard work since the recipe had plently of ingredients and without a large electric mixer, became a physical feat. Nevertheless, the "togetherness" of the event remained. It was a time of relationship building and when the kids came along, it morphed into a time of communal fun, sharing and relaxing. Aromas in the kitchen - again of cloves, ginger, cinnamon and the like - became associated with happiness and goodwill.

As the years went on and friends were drawn into the household, the "Christmas Cake" occasion remained a highlight. Indeed, the joke in our household, when our girls bring in potential partners, is that they will have to "Undergo the Christmas Cake Test!". It means that they will be responsible for the mixing of the cake while every one else pours in the various ingredients. It isn't really a "Test", but rather an acknowledgement of the importance of that person in our lives. And again the aromas of the cake are associated with a memorable occasion.

I have always believed in the high value of the home in people's lives and my own purpose has been to follow this cause. The Christmas Cake has become symbolic, to me, of this value and our need to preserve the sanctity of our homes. I would like to encourage you, to employ the Christmas Cake occasion in your own home. Let it become your symbol of your togetherness and the value of people in your lives.

Here is the recipe:

MOM'S CHRISTMAS CAKE

4 CUPS FLOUR

2 CUPS SUGAR

1 LB BUTTER

10 EGGS (SEPERATED)

1 TSP BICARB

1/2 TEASPOON EACH OF CINNAMON, NUTMEG, GINGER AND SALT

1/4 TEASPOON CLOVES

1 LB CURRANTS

1/2 LB PEEL

1 LB SULTANAS

1 LB RAISINS

1/2 LB CHERRIES

1/2 LB FLAKED ALMONDS

1/2 CUP BRANDY

1 TSP COCOA

Cream the butter and sugar well. Add the yolks on at a time, beating well all the time. Add flour gradually. Mix bicarb with a little milk and then add all the spices, fruit, brandy and well beaten egg whites.

Line cake tin with foil and grease proof paper.

Bake about 3 hours (160-180C)

Enjoy the time together!!!

SWEET POTATO AUTONOMY

ONE OF MY SWEET-POTATOES WAS TIRED OF WAITING AROUND TO BE EATEN....

TELL ME WHAT GOD IS LIKE.

A WHILE AGO, I HEARD A WONDERFUL STORY WHICH ILLUSTRATES

THE VALUE OF CHILDISH WONDER:

A young couple had just become new parents to their second child, when their little boy, aged 3, asked for some time alone with his new brother. The parents were a little perturbed by their son's request and silently questioned the little boy's motives. They had read a lot about sibling rivalry and did not want to put their new baby at any unnecessary risk. By way of compromise, they agreed to let the little boy visit his baby brother, on condition that they stayed close at hand.

Their young son wasn't happy and kept insisting that his parents leave the room since he wanted to be "ALONE!" with his new brother. Finally the parents relented and retreated into the passage. They were still worried however, so they left the bedroom door slightly ajar to keep an eye on proceedings.

Little James moved closer to his new little brother and stared longingly into the cot for a long time. Then as the silence grew awkward, the worried couple peeped around the bedroom door just to see their little boy lean over the cot and say to his little brother;

"JOHNNY, TELL ME WHAT GOD IS LIKE, BECAUSE I'M STARTING TO FORGET!"

Let us all hold on to our own youthful wonder.

DON'T GO IT ALONE!

Here's a thought....

I think Hurt (Emotional pain) and Anger are synonymous!

If a person displays Anger, I believe one can safely assume that it is rooted in emotional pain. Indeed Hurt and Anger seem to occupy the same psychological space. The converse, I believe is also true: Hurt can quickly change to Anger. Either way, both these emotions are volatile and should be kept in check.

I also believe that unresolved emotional pain will display itself in either Hurt or Anger at some stage. Sometimes these emotions emerge erratically years after the incident, or indeed, they build up - layers and layers of emotion - over time and then surface, like an angry cloud, unexpectedly. Either way, it goes without say, that if you are Hurt or Angry, it is best to deal with it as soon as possible and in a structured and committed way.

I also believe that we need to consciously take time out to examine the cause of our Anger or Hurt - and to resolve it responsibly. This is a positive step. Despite the stigma of counselling which still prevails in our society, the truth is that there is really no harm in consulting someone (a psychologist, counsellor or a friend with big shoulders) to this end. Even diarising helps, because the act of writing down your thoughts, serves to structure them and to deal with them practically. Suppressing the emotions of Hurt and Anger only serve to build up one's big walls of defence, which I believe are damaging to the psyche and our ability to interact socially.

In summary, I would like to say: - If you are Hurting or Angry, don't feel that you have to 'go-it-alone'. There are many wonderful people out there who are ready, willing and able to facilitate your healing. It is important though to find someone you can trust in the healing process. Remember that the stigma in society surrounding counselling is unjustified. Be gentle with yourself and find someone who can help you! CAM

ARE YOU FLOWERING?

If you are feeling low today; I give you a flower in the hope that your spirit will be lifted. Flowers always seem to smile at us. Once they are dead, they are no longer 'flowers'. They remind us that if we are alive, its best to show our best face. Flowers search for the sun or for the light. Why don't we do the same???

THUNDERSTORMS AND RAINBOWS

I believe that some of the Johannesburg evenings are the most beautiful in the world!

The unbearable heat during our summer days often result in the most phenomenal cloud formations and these are presented as artworks in the sky. These angry storms build up and announce themselves with resonant thunder and widespread lightning. Later when the storm has dropped all its cargo, the thunder still rumbles away into the night. The storms can be so volatile but when they are over they offer us some of the most magnificent rainbows.

This afternoon was one of those thunderous times but as I waited for the storm to dissipate, I was sure that it was about to reveal one of its awesome rainbows. I grabbed my camera and went in search. Somehow, it eluded me and despite me driving around the neighbourhood for the perfect picture, I came home emptyhanded. But I was happy that I had searched - I knew it was there, but I just couldn't see it!

The idea of the importance of the 'Rainbow' in our lives was brought home to me this morning.
I was on one of my shopping rounds and in one shop I stopped to chat to the cashier. I've been to that shop before, so she recognised me. We share common ground in that our children have attended the same school. During our conversation, she delivered a profound statement:

"A MOTHER IS ONLY AS HAPPY AS HER UNHAPPIEST CHILD!"

This got me thinking. Yes, we do, indeed worry about our children. This concern is an inate part of parenthood and continues throughout life. My own mom - 86yrs - still pains over the troubles of her offspring, sometimes to the point where she is literally ill with worry. Perhaps this state of 'worry' is instinctive, but it then sets off a process of us worrying about her. The following statement then becomes true:

"CHILDREN ARE AFFECTED BY THE HAPPINESS OF THEIR PARENTS!"

Does this not then mean that an unhappy parental disposition is the trigger to a viscious negative spiral? If this is indeed so, then consider our responsibility, as adults, for our own happiness. Maybe by doing things that aid our own goal to 'happiness' we are triggering the spiral upwards and therefore giving a positive influence on our children.

Back to the thunderstorms and the search for the rainbow in our lives....

Perhaps the answer is really to acknowledge the storms in our lives, but to make an effort to look for the rainbows . Our search for the rainbow might elude us but take heart - it is there! It is like the stormy cloud; if we wait long enough, the rainbow will reveal itself. Maybe too; the rainbow holds the promise of our ability to impart happiness to our children. By focussing on the vision of a better place in our lives we allow others access to our own 'happiness' and the spiral to positivity is put into action.

So I encourage you; not to focus on the storms, but to go ahead and

SEARCH FOR THE RAINBOW IN YOUR LIFE!

POEM FOR THE GRIEVING

I am aware that there are a number of people around me who are dealing with the deaths of loved ones. I would like to share a poem with you; It had special meaning to me after my own fathed died in 1998:

Though I am dead, grieve not for me with tears.
Think not of death with sorrowing and fears.
I am so near that every tear you shead
touches and tortures me,
though you think me dead.

But when you laugh and sing in glad delight;
my soul is lifted to the Light.
Laugh and be glad with me for all that life is giving
And I, though dead, will share your joy in living
(ANON)

I pray that your day will be filled with strength, comfort and piece. With love, CAM

ROBZ' POEM TO GRANNY

I post this special poem, with my daughter, Robyn's permission. It was written by her, in memory of her granny, Jessie Moll, who passed away in 1997 after a brave fight against cancer.

This poem was on Jessie's memorial packet which was placed, together with many other lit-up packets, around the walking track at the Cancer relay at Westridge High School last night.

I'll never forget the way you hugged,
or the way you held my hand.
I'll never forget the way you laughed,
Despite things grave at hand
I remember you patience,
The glow in your eyes.
I remember the soap bubbles,
And catching butterflies,
the wedding in the garden,
begging for 'sweety time',
the time you spent with me, though short
made my life truly sublime.

I remember the smile
through the oxygen mask,
You telling me to be strong,
the way you told me to trust in God
the way you had all along.
So Granny, I miss you, I always will,
You held a special place in my heart
and while you may have died long ago,
I know from your love,
I'll never be truly apart...

Your granddaughter, Robz xox

THE WALK OF HOPE

Tonight I am participating in a 12 hour Cancer walking relay. The aim is to raise funds for cancer research. The idea of participating in such an event appealed to me since so many people have been affected by this dreaded disease. My husband's mom died in 1997 after a brave fight against breast cancer. The good news is that there is increased awareness of this disease since then, extensive research and an environment where we talk about it and encourage survivors in their own personal fight. Indeed there are so many people who need our support.

There are 11 people in our team who will be walking in relay through the night. The event starts at 6pm this evening, at WestRidge High School (Gauteng) with a "Survivor's Lap of Honour". I will be placing my own personal tribute to mom on the field this evening; its a brown packet with a candle inside and highlights her photo, our love and admiratin of her. As the various teams walk around the track we will remember those who have passed on and those who are survivors. It seems that it will be quite a solemn ceremony, but each team will do its best to raise funds for Cancer Research.

I have invited my friends to join me on my own walk - a two hour time slot - and then to make a donation for their participation. Hopefully we will be able to make our own further contribution.

So tonight as I walk my own walk, I will be thankful for my own blessings - my friends, my health, my abilities, my life. I will enjoy the night around me, the stars (hopefully), the breeze and the awesome goodwill of the various participants.

Good luck to all who will take part!

"BIG OAKS FROM LITTLE ACORNS GROW"

I had the real honour of attending my youngest daughter's valediction ceremony last night. This is a formal celebration, held by the school, which marks the end of the Matriculants' schooling career. It was a particular honour for me, since many of these young adults have been around in my life for the past 12 years. They are finally emerging from their chrysalises and it was an opportunity to witness the extent to which this has happened.

It made me think of the quotation; "BIG OAKS FROM LITTLE ACORNS GROW" (A primary school motto) and highlighted to me, yet again, the responsibilities we have as parents towards our children. Children will grow up in spite of us, but with care and the right environment, they truly will become amazing adults.

Let me explain the analogy: When a child is born we, as parents, are truly presented with an "ACORN" which is equipped with all the genetics and possibilites to thrive. As parents we water the seed with our knowledge, guidance and understanding. As parents we put that seed into our environment and have the responsibility to nurture the"SOIL" with unconditional acceptance. We provide regular "FEEDING" by giving our children the opportunities to achieve their full potential. We also know that if we put this "LITTLE SAPLING" with others, they might thrive and learn, together, to grow towards the sunlight.

One certainty along the road of growth is the inevitable rough times; figurative "DROUGHTS", "ILLNESS" and "FLOODS". Crises only serve to strengthen all of us and allow us to appreciate everything we are presented. It is how we, as parents, deal with the crises, that we teach our children how to deal with their own. Values such as integrity, tenacity, caring, sharing, patience, self-control and keeping focus emerge during these tough times.

My point really is that our children are presented, in raw form, to us to shape and mould to reach their full potential. It is the biggest responsibility that we are presented in this life, since what we do with our children will shape the society that we will grow old in. So take this time with them seriously and enjoy every moment of their lives.

It would be remiss of me if I didn't congratulate my amazing daughter:

WELL DONE, ROBZ! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! HOLD ONTO YOUR DREAMS AND BE THAT AMAZING OAK TREE - STRONG AND PURPOSEFUL, GIVING SHADE TO ALL THOSE WHO WANDER BENEATH YOUR BRANCHES. I LOVE YOU AND GOOD LUCK FOR THE FUTURE. MOM

DREAMS AND OPPORTUNITY

Only as high as I reach can I grow,
Only as far as I seek can I go,
Only as deep as I look can I see,
Only as much as I dream can I be."

Karen Ravn"

In April this year, I never dreamed that I would be running 10km races. Instead I was focussing on the symptoms of my body not being able to do what it use to do. I was immersed in the past and allowing all that knowledge to dictate who I was.

Whilst it is important to reflect and look back on our growth, our successes, our failures and our life's walk, it is equally important to use this knowledge and to focus it in some kind of direction. Without a vision of some kind of dream, we tend to wallow in the past and focus on what "is", and not what "could be!" So how did this change for me?? What was the catalyst and how did the change happen?

Well, by joining Run/Walk for life, I was introduced into the realm of possibility. My first session there gave me access to the knowedge that it was indeed possible for my body to walk systematically and purposefully for 5 minutes. Whilst this is small, it was the start. Indeed, most people can do this! After I had affirmed this twice, I was shown that my body could indeed accomplish 7 and a half minutes. Every third session, the possibility of a further two and a half minutes emerged and was accomplished. Those small steps of affirmation have led me to where I am today - a full 10km in 76 minutes. I am marvelled and amazed!

I have always held the view that "SOLID FOUNDATIONS MAKE STEADFAST BUILDINGS!" but have now come to realise that "EVERY SMALL BRICK COUNTS!". Once a brick has been laid firmly and cemented in place, it is very hard to remove. This is such a true analogy for life in general.

So today, I celebrate my third 10km race. These accomplishments I regard as the bricks of further dreams and opportunity. They are special and cherished achievements and rightly so. I would like to ask; What are your special bricks? What possibilities do they represent? They are waiting to be solidly placed into the plan for your dreams. Go for it! Take courage and embrace the opportunity which presents itself. I wish you the best. CAM

"People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains,
at the huge waves of the seas,
at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean,
at the circular motion of the stars,
and yet they pass by themselves without wondering."

St. Augustine, 354 430

INSTINCTIVE ME

What makes me, ME and what makes you, YOU?

The debate in psychological circles continues to rage on; what is instinctive behaviour and what is learned behaviour? How much of our personalities are genetic and how much is learned? It seems that most modern psychologists hold the view that much of our behaviour is learned; that we have been moulded from childhood into the characters which we are. Although I share this view, I also believe that the 'instinct' in us should not be discounted.

We know, for example, that there are certain emotions which are universal and observable in the facial expressions of all human beings across the world - such as anger, happiness, fear, surprise, sadness etc etc. - but how much of our instinctive behaviour is unique to ourselves as individuals? I would like to suggest that there are indeed some uniquely individualised INSTINCTIVE behaviours which are not common to all individuals. Whilst my view is not backed up by research, I continue to experience profoundness of this view on a daily basis.

In the very early hours of this morning we had our first hint of a rainstorm. Although there was quite a bit of wind, a solid soaking did not materialise. The wind and the rain brought a visitor to my bedroom. As I opened my eyes to the dawn, a tiny movement on my carpet caught my eye. A fledgling dove had found its way through my open window and had sought refuge (it seems) in the folds of my bedroom curtain. Even the dogs who share our room hadn't noticed. It was then that my own instinct gripped me - the ever pervailing compassion for people and all creatures in distress.

I gathered up the little bird in the palms of my hands and whilst still in my pyjamas padded barefoot down the passage, onto the patio and into the garden. I deposited the frightened litte creature close to a small shrub, knowing that if its mother was around, she would surely find it. I was delighted to see that within a short while the little bird embraced its own spirit, stretched its wings and flew up onto the wall.

My own instinct of releaving a creature in distress speaks so loudly to me. Indeed I believe it to be part of my soul. I remember, as a small child, sitting for hours in quiet sanctitude on our farm, just taking in God's creation and knowing how intricately involved I was in it. This kind of feeling/emotion cannot be learned. I believe it to be purposefully created in me and my experience of it - again unique to me! Its essence is raw, pure and and links directly (I believe) into my own creation.

The little dove this morning allowed me again to receive this peaceful message, "Embrace who you are, understand and listen to the instinct of your soul and honour it!" So, I would encourage you, too, to take some time aside today and ponder what it is that makes you, YOU. You are unique and indeed God's perfectly created creature. Gather your own spirit and spread your own wings to even greater heights!

ANTLIONS

I first learned to write in a palette of soft sand on my parents' farm in the Northern Province of South Africa. The narrow farm road leading up to our old house was littered in places with fine sand; worn down by the tyres of many farm vehicles. The sand was my domain and allowed me the opportunity of experimenting with varieties of patterns created by my small hand. So you can imagine when one day, to my horror, MY sand was patterned with small conical depressions (which I had not made!). But I was a farm child and I honored my learning by simply sitting down in the sand and watching.

As the sun rose that morning, so too did the ants start their day. These ants were known to me - small and brown in type, with no bite - and I let them go happily about their business. I watched too, in facination, as one of them fell into one of the conical holes in the sand. The ant started to struggle to get out of the hole but these holes were obviously carefully crafted. Soon a spray of fine granules was thrown up from the small pit. This added to the ant's plight and it was gradually dragged down into the apex of the hole. In a split second something caught it; two small pinchers had taken a firm grip and the ant was dragged underneath the sand.

I was 6 years old at the time and sat there - riveted in facination. This was my early introduction to the fascinating world of the ANTLION.

I decided to catch and collect some of the antlions. The trick, I eventually learned, was to get a small piece of grass and then quietly tickle the sides of their conicle holes. This would prompt the ANTLION to action and once it was frantically throwing sand up from it's pit, I would reach in with my hand and, as gently as possible, grab the sand in its general area. If I was lucky, I would eventually find the little creature once I had carefully sifted through the sand. My tiny little captive was then placed in a shoe box filled with sand. I would watch, delightedly, as it dug its way underneath the soil. Those days in my childhood were filled with catching ants and delivering them into the small death pits.

My glee however didn't last long. After a few weeks the ANTLIONS and their beautifully crafted holes simply disappeared and left me mortified. It was only years later that I discovered the secret of the ANTLION...

The ANTLION, often known as the 'Doodlebug' is resident to temperate climates all around the world. They are a creature in transition since they are, in fact, the pupa of the 'lacewing' (a form of dragonfly). During their 'ANTLION' stage, they feed primarily on ants, drawing these insects into their deathtraps, pulling them underground, and feeding off their juices. Despite their 'violent' existence, they are quite beautiful with tiny furry bodies and small, neat pinchers. Candidly, I would say that they look like a giant sperm cell.

So next time you see these tiny depressions in the soil, tread carefully! There might be resident antlions in those holes who are slowly transforming themselves into beautiful dragonflies.

Short and Sweet

What a happy day it has been, for me, today! We have the best weather in the world and I got to spend a morning baking muffins (many of them) with a good friend. Kitchen creations are always special, since I know they bring comfort to their devourers.

This evening, as I watered my garden and pottered around the pool, I saw the first signs in the sky of the promise of rain and felt a shared upliftment with my thirsty plants.

MATRIC DANCE FEVER

It's Matric Dance fever in our household and the day has finally arrived. The atmosphere is feverish with excitement and anticipation. By tomorrow evening, my daughter and her friends will reveal themselves like butterflies emerging from their cocoons.

I look back, with nostalgia, over the years preceding this time. Eighteen years ago, this beautiful young woman arrived in my world as a small human parcel, packed with potential. So much has happened over these years as we have tried to shape her with our love. I have watched in awe as she has embraced her talents, her faith, her values, her friends and her potential. As her mom, I have had the privelege of helping her reach for all these things. Indeed, when I held that little mite all that time ago, I doubted my abilities to fulfill the important role of motherhood. Little did I realise at the time that motherhood in itself holds all the tools to do a sterling job and has allowed me to grow in God's grace. I am so thankful for this opportunity which was given me.

So tomorrow, when I look at her radiance and enjoyment, I will remember the gift which was given me and understand that the time spent over the years is a drop in the pond of God's plan for her. She is adult, she is beautiful and she is on the springboard to fulfillment. I wish my daughter a wonderful, happy Matric dance, with all my love, Mom.

MY FIRST 10 KM

Yesterday I was initiated into the wonderful world of 10km road races. I can't believe that, after only 5 months, I have acquired the fitness level to attempt such a race. Obviously such a feat is indeed possible!

I am not naturally an early riser but, on this occasion, I had taken the decision to defy my 'public holiday' sleep-in option. So I buzzed around the sleeping household (including the dogs) trying to gather the necessary things for my race. At 4.30 I presented my hubby a cuppa as he had agreed to accompany me to the start of my adventure.

The ride to Clearwater Mall (the starting point) was a beautiful glimpse into the early morning world of dusk. God's stars were still flickering and there was a chilly wind blowing. The butterflies in my stomach were however not flying in formation.

After registering and gathering my race number, I said goodbye to my hubby and joined my encouraging running partner at the start. We huddled behind a wall in a vain attempt to defer the biting wind. One of the funny sights at the start was an official who was walking amidst the gathered runners offering lubricant from a tub held high. Chafing is apparently common and preparation for avoiding this condition usually made beforehand. I was tempted to dive into this jar but was uncertain.

When Ginny and I heard the start gun, we emerged from our hiding place, and started moving along with the tight crowd. Indeed, we ran the first one and a half kilometers to ensure a smooth merge.

The "Flat race", as this race is commonly termed, is anything but flat! Most of the route winds its way along the steep roads along the mountain ridge running parallel to Hendrik Potgieter Road. We decided to run the downhills and walk the uphills. The ambience was fun and happy; participants joking, encouraging each other and generally chatting. What a privilege to be amongst like-minded folk.

The route itself is very pretty and it makes it way past some spectacular houses. At times the view stretches right across the spanse of the Cradle of Humankind. The birds serenaded us and the two watering points were well stocked.

Ginny and I reached the 6km mark around 56 minutes. To our surprise, the leaders of the 21km race past us at this point (having completed 16km in the same time). Those runners are truly amazing; they are running at a time of around 2.8 minutes per kilometer. Although we couldn't possibly ever run at those times, they were nevertheless totally awesome and inspiring.

We completed the race in the Clearwater Mall's parking lot at a time of 75 minutes. I really enjoyed the run, the atmosphere, the experience and the company along the route. I am so grateful too for my running partner and her husband and for all their encouragement. This encouragement is so common in the Walk /Run for Life family and is the catalyst for achieving many small goals which are often overlooked. And, of course, I am grateful for my faithful husband who arrived donned with our previously discarded jackets.

Today my muscles have recovered and I have registered for the Spar Ladies Race on the 12th October. Would you say that I am hooked yet?

THE VALUE OF OPEN COMMUNICATION

A lot has been said about the importance of listening. On the other hand, very little has been said about the importance of speaking up and actively sharing oneself with others. Yes, I agree that there is a time for everything; a time to listen as well as a time to speak but it is just as important to speak/share as it is to listen. Both listening and speaking go hand in hand for the purpose of good human relationships. The importance of speaking and sharing oneself is often discounted and I feel that it needs to be highlighted.

Let us first look at what exactly is speech? Our speech is what defines us as human; whether we have evolved or been created, our language is what distinguishes us from other creatures on this planet. Speech is integral to effective communication. Yes we choose our words, but the choice of words is what clarifies our individuality. It is a tool that we have been given to convey to others who we are, what our values are, our likes, dislikes, knowledge, aspirations, beliefs, hurts, joys, etc and it enables our communal nature. Our language and our speech allows us to laugh and share the joy of the moment. Our language helps us to make meaning of our lives and the lives of others. Our speech helps our listeners to avoid assumption or to rely on stereotyping.

What happens with people who are shy or reluctant to speak? Whilst it is the individual’s right to be whoever they want to be, let us look at the consequences of choosing a path of quietness:

Human beings, by nature are social creatures and are bound by certain social norms, customs and actions prevailing in their communities. But it is through our speech that we get to know one another, share ideas and gain new insight and understanding. Speech allows opportunity for guidance, reflection and affirmation. Electing not to speak means one gets no responding guidance, no reflection and no affirmation. No speech enables the person to operate in a bubble; it is a selfish ideal which cuts those around you off from the opportunity of a relationship with you.

Be bold…Share yourself! Share who you are and give the other person the opportunity of getting to know you. You can’t possibly expect them to simply know you without speaking. Indeed, if you don’t share anything of yourself, the other person will simply assess and respond to you by the assumptions he/she makes about you. This is dangerous territory since you lay yourself open to assumption, prejudice and stereotyping.

Obviously one needs to choose one’s time to ‘share’. Does the other person really want to get to know you? Indeed, if the answer is ‘yes’, why hold back? This is the essence of human interaction and relationship!

Let us look at prayer and why we pray? It is an opportunity to communicate to God what lies on our hearts. It is also a time to give something to God, to allow a relationship with Him and to allow Him to correct our thoughts and therefore our actions. A life without prayer or meditation means a life without a relationship with the Almighty.

The same goes for human relationships. Speech is an opportunity to communicate to another human being; a time to give something to that other human being, to allow a relationship with him/her and an opportunity to discuss thoughts and actions.

When you speak to someone, you are sharing your own frame of reference; this is a gift to the other person. Admittedly by speaking you make yourself vulnerable, but communication holds the key to the attainment of a relationship and of ultimate knowledge.

What happens, however, if you share something intensely personal and don’t get a response at all? Well, it’s a violation of your hope which you have in the listener. When you make the effort to communicate you expect the person to consider what you are saying. Where there is no response or one of apathy, you get the message that they are reluctant to access what you are trying to say. It says; “What you have to say is of no value to me and what I have to say is of no value to you. This relationship is pointless.” If others don’t respond, it’s like talking in a bubble; isolated and alone!

Unfortunately this is the risk we all take when sharing our inner, personal thoughts with others, but like everything it is a high-risk, high-return situation. You might just be surprised by the other person’s compassion and the value they place on what you have said. Speech allows someone else to access your personal frame of reference and it gives your listener a chance to respond to your personal reality.

In summary, I would like to suggest that if you are shy, reticent, quiet or prone to isolation, to take time to think about your stance. An image of ‘apathy’ or ‘hostility’, which is sometimes conveyed through quietness, is a path chosen towards isolation. So, take the risk; share yourself! You are God’s creature and purposefully placed amongst others. We are all vulnerable and it is by our speech and our communication that we have access to social interaction, support and personal growth. So, don't be shy, SHARE YOURSELF!

SPRING

It’s spring!

I find this the most amazing time of the year. Somehow the winter cobwebs of the psyche just seem to fall off and reveal new ideas, energy, opportunities, interactions and pursuits. Like the deciduous trees, I shed the clutches of winter and embrace God’s beautiful creation.

The white stinkwood tree, in our garden, is covered in fresh emerald leaves. The weaver bird has six nests and has already reared a clutch of chicks. His twitter is constant as he wards off other winged creatures. If I walk out into the garden, the aroma of jasmine wafts all around me and is tempered by the smell of newly laid compost. It really is so beautiful!

In the distance the noise of the highway remains a constant reminder of the world’s routine. How many people immersed in routine are missing this awesome display of new life?

I take this moment, again, to be grateful for my life, my health, my loved ones and all my blessings. Spring is just that… earth’s coil unleashing new energy!

Have a wonderful day and enjoy SPRING!

I AM GRATEFUL...

Someone once recommended that one day of each week be set aside for being grateful. I embrace this day as my own day of gratitude and I share this with you.

I AM GRATEFUL...

... for the possibility of being positive. Yes, this world is difficult and we experience hardships, pain, disillusionment, lack of faith, disappointment, desoluteness, loneliness and all those negative elements that continuously weigh us down , yet the possibility of being positive always remains. It is the hope which we know we have but which involves a difficult switch of paradigm. It' s oh so hard, but the possibility is indeed there.

... for being positive today as I resolve to notice all the good things in my life and say a prayer of thanks:

... for my life. I have a body and a mind perfectly designed to experience all that God has granted. I embrace today in its entirity.

... for my health. The years of battling are but a walk of knowledge. Today I am pain free and am allowed to experience my life happily.

... for my family. They are my perfectly provided companions, witnesses and Godly designed support structure. Each of them are unique, beautiful people with talents, visions and traits of their own. They provide a solid kaleidoscope of human posibility. I am grateful for their perspectives and the enrichment they bring to my life.

... for my friends; those special people who hover around the fringes of my life, but are invaluable in their objective perspective, encouragement and stability.

... for my provision. I want for nothing except to experience the goodness and fullness of life. I am not hungry, thirsty, cold nor hopeless and I am thankful.

... for my faith. I know I am loved, cared for and that God is next to me. I feel embraced and whole.

... for my talents and the opportunity of being creative. As a human being, I am constantly developing and finding new abilities. This is challenging and invigorating and intricately part of my humanity.

... for the planet and its multitude of creatures, plans, colours and landscapes. The sunrise, the sunset, moon, planets, stars and all the wonders of the universe. The waters of the earth and the abundance of lives which they support. The animals which live on our planet and the facination which they hold. The plants; their perfect ability to adapt and survive. And indeed - for humanity - and the potential which we all bring.

So today I am grateful for all these things and all the things I have forgotten, but am soon to remember. Thank you God!

THE TREE

I have come to recognize the trees on my regular walking routes as being my static companions. I have always been fascinated with these beautiful structures. On Monday, as I came to the most distant point of my circuit; the tree that marked this milestone had been invaded. There were six men in its branches and around its gigantic stem. Some of the men were armed with chainsaws and my heart ached.

It got me thinking about trees and the parallels they share with humankind:

We all need foundations for survival. The trees echo this in their roots which anchor them throughout their lives. Without these strong root structures, the tree would not exist. The roots provide much needed nutrients; water which sustains them and minerals which ensure the tree’s growth and strength. Where are our foundations?

We all need vision in our lives. A tree grows towards the sunlight. It knows its source of energy. The sunlight provides vitamins for its leaves to make chlorophyll. Sunlight communicates the seasons to the tree; telling it when to rest (winter) and when to grow (spring), when to flower and when to wait. Sunlight too is one of the main ingredients for its survival. In our own lives, there is a time for everything; where do we get our guidance?

The growth of the tree depends on it keeping itself balanced. It sends out both roots and branches to this end. Balance enables it to continue its life and reach its full potential. Without balance in our own lives – physical, emotional, spiritual, social, work, etc – our lives will fall apart. What is the answer to maintaining our own equilibrium?

The tree enables other life; giving freely to the creatures which rely on it. It also provides oxygen to man and absorbs carbon dioxide. It hosts a myriad of creatures in its branches and is indeed an entire exosystem. Birds rest there, ants make their home in its bark, so too do spiders, scorpions, slugs and other creatures. Even the insects depend on its existence. How do we support our own world?

The tree is so finely tuned into its environment. It receives from it and supports it. It doesn’t adorn itself with clutter and filigree. It takes only what it needs. Where does our own human greed leave us?

Remember too that the tree germinated from a tiny seed. Some seeds are so small, but they grow into structures which are magnified millions of times. In order for the seed to germinate, it was necessary for the seed to die. It shriveled up first, then a miracle happened and the green shoot and small root appeared. How did our spiritual lives begin and to what degree do they grow whilst in this world?

As I watched those chainsaws tackle their task of demolishing that huge tree, I said a silent prayer of thanks – for the provision of the tree and for the lesson it taught me. I am thankful for the shade it provided and for the creatures it sustained. Perhaps in time we will appreciate and be awe-inspired by the blessings of the tree.

THE COMING OF NAUGHT

THE COMING OF NOUGHT

We clustered together, in mission,
Searching the western skies.
Strangers connected, hopeful
To answer all the cries.

Hype; contagious, rumour fuelled
Somewhere out there, Unseen,
A call to witness the Artist in action
And glimpse what He’s always been.

The sky glowed red in Majestic light
As our world gave up its day.
We watched in awe, in silent space
As the Prophetic star pointed our way.

A Trinity shape, in silver hue
It marked the sunset sky.
We watched; each other, ourselves, the heavens,
Could it be, after all, no lie?

Plunging through the sky that night
His powerful path, maintained.
Elusive, misunderstood, beautiful Light;
A vision to be framed.

Breathless, the scene was gone,
Our minds, in Unity stained.
The story would be told for years to come-
“Your Call unanswered; then nothing gained!”

CAM
The appearance of Comet McNaught 15/1/2007-22/1/2007

THE ARTIST

Let me paint a picture in words:….my imagination is my canvas and language my paint:


THE ARTIST

The colours: gentle moods with silent hues,
Passionate reds and brooding blues:
A backdrop of lifetime’s mopes,
Past, present and future hopes.

Brush: dancing on parchment …deliberation,
Staring at its master in anticipation.
Submissively it oozes its paint
Tentatively, touching with scarring taint.

Background music honors memories
Some are sad, some a pleasure
Rhythmically, wistfully in the breeze
Holding my artistic measure.

Melting moments of chocolate…
Wafting flavours in my nose
Savouring, pondering my work takes form.
Look at the creation… wriggle my toes.

The work; a sleep of a thousand sighs
And moments mentioned to tearful eyes.
I command the skies and twiddle the landscape…
And finally settle in silent slumber.

(CAM 20June2008)

A ROUND TUIT

How often do we put off that irritating task…”I’ll do it when I get around to it!”? My own experience is that often that task simply never gets done. It hangs around the attic of our mental ‘to do’ list, gathering layers of dust and eventually fading into obscurity.

Some time ago, I was shopping for a present for a person who ‘had everything’ – I’m sure you know the feeling; the endless trudging around a shopping centre in the hope that something will just jump out at you.

At a time when my legs were almost deserting me I walked into a crafters’ shop. The display was marvelous, such creativity! On a remote shelf, there it was – the perfect gift – a small round cushion with a label; the ‘TUIT’.

On the back of the label was the explanation: “For the procrastinator:- A product that will eliminate all excuses – the ROUND TUIT! - For that special person who promises they will do something when they get a ROUND TUIT.”

I bought the ROUND TUIT that day and gave it to that special person, but alas – we don’t have one in our house and the excuse remains…”I will eventually get around to it!”

SAVING WATER

SAVING WATER

Most newlyweds will know that the first few of months of married life presents the task of working out the division of roles and household chores. 25 years ago, my husband and I were doing just that. He developed a really endearing habit in his routine of bringing me a cup of tea or coffee in bed first thing in the morning.

His own experience, in those first few months, however, was rather alarming since he was convinced that his coffee tasted like rubber. He analysed his routine very carefully; checked the kettle, the milk, the coffee and the mug but the irritating taste of rubber could not be identified. Indeed, he even bought a new kettle in the vain attempt to avert the taste. Eventually he resolved that it must be something in the pipes in our flat. Either way, the distaste was there to stay.

I, on the other hand, didn’t notice anything unusual. I had grown up on a farm where water was scarce and we saved every drop we could. Complaints about the taste of water were out of place. Indeed our water on the farm often tasted like rubber, so the rubbery taste in the flat wasn’t unusual at all from my point of view.

Those first winter months of our married life were very cold and one of our treats was the nightly hot water bottle. I would boil the kettle in the evening and fill the bottle lovingly before retiring to bed.

One Saturday morning, my husband slept in and I decided to reverse the treat and give him a cup of coffee in bed. I duly trotted off to the kitchen, clutching the hot water bottle. I checked the water level of the kettle and seeing that it was fairly empty, carefully opened the stopper of the hot water bottle and poured the water into the kettle.

It was at that point that my husband walked into the kitchen a saw what I was doing. After a whole year, he had found the source of the rubbery taste in his coffee:- his wife in the thoughtful attempt at ‘saving water’ had unthinkingly been emptying the water from the hot water bottle into the kettle each morning. At last the mystery of the rubbery taste was solved. I, however, have never lived this story down. It has been a constant joke in our family. “Visitors beware – our coffee tastes like rubber!”

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The greatest gift one can give anyone is UNCONDITIONAL love and acceptance.


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A wise person asked me one day..... "What is stopping you from accepting your incompetence?"

Sometimes we forget that things have a limit; - including ourselves. We forget that we are perhaps not designed to be perfect. Imagine the peace it would bring when we stop banging our heads on brick walls in vain attempts to do something or to present ourselves in a certain way. Imagine being able to accept our imperfections and knowing that it is "OK"?

Erikson suggested that the final stage of human life evolves around the crises of synthesising integrity and despair, i.e. when a person looks back on their life they may regret their activities and desperately attempt to make ammends, or/and they may look back on their lives and feel, "yes, that's me". By resolving this "crisis" they synthesise their psychological development into "WISDOM".

Many people strive vainly for wisdom - that elusive state restricted to the wise. Perhaps that is just it - not to strive, but rather to accept what is, to know what is, to understand what is and to be "ok" with what is. So....

What does it take for us to make peace with our incompetence? Perhaps in time, we will be able to do exactly that....(?)