DON'T GO IT ALONE!

Here's a thought....

I think Hurt (Emotional pain) and Anger are synonymous!

If a person displays Anger, I believe one can safely assume that it is rooted in emotional pain. Indeed Hurt and Anger seem to occupy the same psychological space. The converse, I believe is also true: Hurt can quickly change to Anger. Either way, both these emotions are volatile and should be kept in check.

I also believe that unresolved emotional pain will display itself in either Hurt or Anger at some stage. Sometimes these emotions emerge erratically years after the incident, or indeed, they build up - layers and layers of emotion - over time and then surface, like an angry cloud, unexpectedly. Either way, it goes without say, that if you are Hurt or Angry, it is best to deal with it as soon as possible and in a structured and committed way.

I also believe that we need to consciously take time out to examine the cause of our Anger or Hurt - and to resolve it responsibly. This is a positive step. Despite the stigma of counselling which still prevails in our society, the truth is that there is really no harm in consulting someone (a psychologist, counsellor or a friend with big shoulders) to this end. Even diarising helps, because the act of writing down your thoughts, serves to structure them and to deal with them practically. Suppressing the emotions of Hurt and Anger only serve to build up one's big walls of defence, which I believe are damaging to the psyche and our ability to interact socially.

In summary, I would like to say: - If you are Hurting or Angry, don't feel that you have to 'go-it-alone'. There are many wonderful people out there who are ready, willing and able to facilitate your healing. It is important though to find someone you can trust in the healing process. Remember that the stigma in society surrounding counselling is unjustified. Be gentle with yourself and find someone who can help you! CAM

ARE YOU FLOWERING?

If you are feeling low today; I give you a flower in the hope that your spirit will be lifted. Flowers always seem to smile at us. Once they are dead, they are no longer 'flowers'. They remind us that if we are alive, its best to show our best face. Flowers search for the sun or for the light. Why don't we do the same???

THUNDERSTORMS AND RAINBOWS

I believe that some of the Johannesburg evenings are the most beautiful in the world!

The unbearable heat during our summer days often result in the most phenomenal cloud formations and these are presented as artworks in the sky. These angry storms build up and announce themselves with resonant thunder and widespread lightning. Later when the storm has dropped all its cargo, the thunder still rumbles away into the night. The storms can be so volatile but when they are over they offer us some of the most magnificent rainbows.

This afternoon was one of those thunderous times but as I waited for the storm to dissipate, I was sure that it was about to reveal one of its awesome rainbows. I grabbed my camera and went in search. Somehow, it eluded me and despite me driving around the neighbourhood for the perfect picture, I came home emptyhanded. But I was happy that I had searched - I knew it was there, but I just couldn't see it!

The idea of the importance of the 'Rainbow' in our lives was brought home to me this morning.
I was on one of my shopping rounds and in one shop I stopped to chat to the cashier. I've been to that shop before, so she recognised me. We share common ground in that our children have attended the same school. During our conversation, she delivered a profound statement:

"A MOTHER IS ONLY AS HAPPY AS HER UNHAPPIEST CHILD!"

This got me thinking. Yes, we do, indeed worry about our children. This concern is an inate part of parenthood and continues throughout life. My own mom - 86yrs - still pains over the troubles of her offspring, sometimes to the point where she is literally ill with worry. Perhaps this state of 'worry' is instinctive, but it then sets off a process of us worrying about her. The following statement then becomes true:

"CHILDREN ARE AFFECTED BY THE HAPPINESS OF THEIR PARENTS!"

Does this not then mean that an unhappy parental disposition is the trigger to a viscious negative spiral? If this is indeed so, then consider our responsibility, as adults, for our own happiness. Maybe by doing things that aid our own goal to 'happiness' we are triggering the spiral upwards and therefore giving a positive influence on our children.

Back to the thunderstorms and the search for the rainbow in our lives....

Perhaps the answer is really to acknowledge the storms in our lives, but to make an effort to look for the rainbows . Our search for the rainbow might elude us but take heart - it is there! It is like the stormy cloud; if we wait long enough, the rainbow will reveal itself. Maybe too; the rainbow holds the promise of our ability to impart happiness to our children. By focussing on the vision of a better place in our lives we allow others access to our own 'happiness' and the spiral to positivity is put into action.

So I encourage you; not to focus on the storms, but to go ahead and

SEARCH FOR THE RAINBOW IN YOUR LIFE!